• My Graduation - My father was not at my graduation. Many years later he apologized to me. He said he was too drunk and he did not want to ruin it for me. Someone said that my mother was there, but I did not see her. I did not look for her. I did not care. And honestly,… Read More
• Mr. Patrick - Sometimes there are people who come into your life that you would swear to God that they were a literal angel posing as a human being. I know that this is not true, but there were two people who came into my life who saved me, one physically, and one mentally and emotionally. Bell Sanders… Read More
• The Last Straw - Life was not all bad, no matter what you have read so far. I was a happy, carefree child in general. Most of my memories are of playing alone around the farm, in the trees that run along the river. I played all day in ditches, with sticks, and mud, rocks, and leaves. I lived… Read More
• The Time I was almost Neglected to Death - I have “mommy issues.” Saying that I have mommy issues is a huge understatement, a short-hand for saying that I am fully aware that the relationship with my mother is causing problems in my current life. And saying this, is an overly wordy way of saying that I am allowing her to have power over… Read More
• The Boy with No Name - I have put off writing this part as long as I can, but now I have to tell you about my little brother. His name was CJ. The next question out of anyone’s mouth is going to be, “What does that stand for?” It stands for nothing. Honest to God, my little brother was named… Read More
• I had to keep myself Safe - Even though my dad was a highly abusive alcoholic, and a pedophile, he was still my best parent. My therapist asked me one time why I thought that was. Thinking she had hit on some big insight, but this has never been a mystery to me, he was predictable, my mother was not. I could… Read More
• Missing Time - Starting school was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved school. School was a wonderful place. I loved my teachers. They were all kind, and seemed to care about me. My favorite thing was that they fed you every day without fail. And I do not care how much the other kids… Read More
• It was Real! - Only half of me knows that this was very bad. I need to start this one with a trigger warning. It is probably the most graphic and horrific of all my memories…to other people. To me, it is only one of many horrific stories. I have had to gain empathy for the people who hear… Read More
• Little Soldiers - I have memories of quite a few different “planning meetings,” but basically, they were all similar to the example I am going to describe. As children we knew when shit was going to go down. You could feel it, and it followed a predictable pattern. Dad would start to get irritated about little things. He… Read More
• Safe House - I think I was being “safe housed.” The problem is, I was safe, sure, but it was probably the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced in my life. Waking up in a strange land. From my point of view, a beating was nothing compared to my mother’s attempts to keep me safe. I would… Read More